Hidden Valley's Holiday Merch Includes Giant Inflatable Ranch Bottle

By Brendan Menapace

Ranch dressing is one of those things like pickles, where it's super-polarized: People either don't use it at all, or they constantly have a bulk supply in their house and use it for every single meal. People who get ranch with a meal typically ask for extra ranch. People who love ranch really love ranch.

These are all, of course, sweeping generalizations, as well as jokes. We know it's possible to be a casual ranch enjoyer.

But, for those dedicated Ranchers, Hidden Valley is back with a holiday line of merchandise to celebrate their favorite condiment.

Do you want a giant inflatable bottle of dressing in your front yard, rather than the snowmen, snow globes and reindeer your unoriginal neighbors have? Well, say no more!

.@HVRanch released their holiday march! https://t.co/tJ3Y1KAAxY

— 104.7 KISS FM (@KISSFMPhoenix) November 14, 2018

Have you always felt like the bottles of ranch you buy in the store just aren't big enough? Thankfully, Hidden Valley has the "Magnum of Ranch," which is almost 2 liters of ranch and comes in a nice wooden box.

https://twitter.com/PeopleFood/status/1062499445579939847

Are you tired of the angel at the top of your tree? Use a light-up bottle of ranch! While you're at it, decorate all the gifts (like a Hidden Valley snowglobe) underneath it with Hidden Valley wrapping paper, and decorate the tree with Hidden Valley ornaments!

.@stassi girl, you need this for your Christmas tree this year. 🎄https://t.co/Opw2IjLTtZ

— Best Products (@BestProducts) November 13, 2018

And, no holiday party is complete without a weird sweater. And you can bet your bottom dollar that Hidden Valley thought of that, too.

It’s HERE! Our limited-edition holiday collection at the RANCH SHOP. Wave your Ranch flag high this holiday season ☃️❄️ Trust us, there’s something for everyone like these tacky holiday sweatshirts 💚 https://t.co/wcD82ayS3p pic.twitter.com/HnKY4kI0Sz

— Hidden Valley Ranch (@HVRanch) November 13, 2018

This whole thing is insane, and really highlights how committed Hidden Valley is to bringing us Ranch-related promotional products and merchandise. Would we buy a giant inflatable ranch bottle lawn decoration? No. But we're writing about it, and for Hidden Valley that's just as good.

That said, if any of you see Hidden Valley inflatable lawn decorations this holiday season, email us.