Dinosaurs are extinct because they just didn’t make the natural selection all-star team. The behemoths might have been chosen for sheer muscle power, but honestly, they weren’t moving fast enough, and no amount of spring training can knock the evolutionary destiny out of a potential competitor.
Yet, thanks to their sheer staying power, their crocodile cousins slid effortlessly onto the lineup. To be fair, they’ve been on earth for about 200 million years, and they’re probably the planet’s most consistent evolutionary players. It’s a little hard to imagine something so flawlessly designed from the get-go that it’s survived when, say, a T-Rex didn’t, but there it is. An even more terrifying, but unrelated, thought? Certain croc relatives walked upright.
Because of their epic loss in the genetic lottery, the term “dinosaur” is used to describe something that’s past its prime. However, it might be high time to introduce another term, one that references things that are so perfect, they don’t need to be tweaked or modified in any way. Like, perhaps, notebooks and totes? Yes. Notebooks and totes will hereby be known as “crocodiles.” Spread it around.