The Phillies Will Send You Merch If Your Cardboard Cutout Gets Hit by a Ball

By Brendan Menapace

It kills us that we can’t go to Citizens Bank Park to watch our Philadelphia Phillies in person, but at least some of us have proxies in the form of cardboard cutouts. By now, just about every MLB team has used fan cutouts (including celebrity fans) to make the empty stands look a little less, well, empty.

Just like in real life, when the stadium is full of warm bodies, there’s always the chance of getting beaned with a home run ball if you’re not paying attention. In those situations, your only souvenir is a home run ball at best, and a black eye at worst.

Thankfully, the Phillies are making sure no fan “leaves the ballpark” empty handed if they get hit by a dinger.

48 cutouts were hit by Phillies home run balls at Citizens Bank Park this season. To apologize to (and thank) those fans, the players who hit the homers signed their cutouts to be returned to them!

These fans will also get tickets to a 2021 game & a package of promotional items. pic.twitter.com/yih3kTlwqI

— Philadelphia Phillies (@Phillies) September 21, 2020

There’s something sort of existentially terrifying about seeing your own face get rocked by a Rhys Hoskins home run on live television, but tickets and some Phillies merch softens the blow a little. It’s a good way to use what is no doubt a large stockpile of promotional products that otherwise went unused this season, and it replicates the raffle giveaways at the ballpark, where whole rows receive branded gift bags.

Also, through tickets, it’s a promise to fans that, while it’s nice having their cardboard cutout in the stands, they want them to come in real life once it’s safe to do so.