20 Questions

• If you could have any job in the world besides a multi-million dollar distributor, what would you be? I'm looking for answers like pro surfer or vintner here, and not multi-billion dollar distributor, smart alecks.

• Do you ever feel like the term "promotional product distributor" isn't at all descriptive enough for what you do? What would you title yourself instead? My best idea so far is "Grand Marketing Sorcerer," but that's a little weird and might cause people to think you're way too into Lord of the Rings, which is okay in and of itself, but maybe not the best way to convey business aptitude to your customers.

• A train is leaving Tulsa towards Phoenix at 65 mph. Another train is heading in the opposite direction at 73 mph. There is a guy on that train that is a little drunk and making a racket. Your girlfriend is getting annoyed and wants you to do something. When do the two trains cross?

How's that for some pearls of wisdom? I know, it's a wonder Barbara Walters has a job anymore, what with this journalist asking all the tough questions.

Until next week,
Mike

TEASER FOR NEXT WEEK: Um, let's see. I might do some more with the top 50, but I also might have some interesting extras to share from my April interviews. But I'm thinking too that I might want to write something unrelated to work events and tie it in to promotional products, that might be fun (for me anyway. God help the people that are reading this).

CHARLES PLYTER FACT OF THE WEEK: Charlie and I agree that sea otters are the best animals at the zoo. This is a statement of fact, and not opinion. You can try and make an argument, but you'll just be wrong. Unless you choose "river otters," then I think we have a debate on our hands.