5 (More) Tips for Writing Knife-sharp Press Releases

"Super Co.'s new CRM is very important to the growth of our business."

vs.

"Super Co.'s new CRM is very important to the growth of our business because it streamlines our technical and order support into a single fast, easy-to-use system that enables us to treat each and every one of our customers even better than before."

While the second sentence is clearly better, we can improve it further. Following point #1 above, we can trim the second sentence to something like this:

"Super Co.'s new CRM streamlines our technical and order support into a single fast, easy-to-use system that helps us treat every one of our customers even better than before."

See how the removal of the "is very important to the growth of our business" chunk of that sentence doesn't cost it any of its meaning? You don't need to tell someone something is important if you're also telling them the "why" of the importance. Which reminds me ...

3. Always Explain to the Reader Why Your News Matters to Them
I see so many press releases that read something like:

Joe's Promos has hired two new sales reps, Janey Joe and Combover Pete. Janey Joe has been the industry 4 years, and Combover Pete loves cats and college hockey. Okay later guys! Joe's Promos 4 Lyfe!!!!

Why would anyone care about that news, let alone open the email it was sent in? Always try to frame your news in a way that explains the value of your news to your intended readers. A press release titled and framed around the idea of "Joe's Promos Strengthens its Customer Service Yet Again," furthers your message and engages your customers much better than "Well we hired two new people that you've never heard of, so that's cool I guess."