A Site for Sore Eyes

My name is Christen Gruebel and I have Computer Rage.
Though I can keep it at an appropriate-for-the-office level (hence, I tap the mouse irritatedly without throwing and breaking it), I have had my moments.

During the event which will now and forevermore go down as the Microsoft Word Hysteria of '04, I lost a 15-page paper the night before it was due, thanks to ill-functioning University library computers and a corrupt disc. To put a positive spin on it, I told people I just loved writing my discourse on Virginia Woolf as a feminist icon so much, I did it twice. Not true.
I yelled at my computer for about an hour until I finally resigned myself to the fact I would just have to do it again (unless I wanted to hand in a document composed entirely in Wingdings). So I did succumb to my fate, but not one second before I broke a few computer-related items.
In my defense, a mouse should be able to withstand way more pressure than that! Also: I never even missed the F2 key from my keyboard. So there.

Clearly, nothing makes me more incensed than slow and nonoperational technology, and I have the feeling I'm not alone. This brings me to a little known fact: Computer Rage goes hand-in-hand with another common, technology-induced disorder, the Death Touch. Actually, to be more specific, the Death Touch usually exacerbates Computer Rage. It's just a vicious cycle.

What is the Death Touch, you might ask? To make a long story short, it's a particular quality that makes someone unable to go near any electronic equipment without rendering it completely useless. The friend who always makes your computer freeze, even when they insist they're "just checking e-mail"? They have the Death Touch. Your mother magically deprogrammed the universal remote? Death Touch.