Just Call Me a Red Shirt
In an effort to run away from the news this weekend, I had what turned out to be a cartoon movie marathon. OK, mini-marathon. OK, I watched two cartoon movies. But it was either that, or run upstairs, pull my covers up to my chin and weep like a teenager who just got in trouble for missing curfew. The headlines are getting mighty scary these days for an optimistic cynic like myself.
During the first leg of said movie "marathon," I went to the ole picture house and took in Monsters vs. Aliens. It was cute—not as funny as, say, Toy Story or Finding Nemo but way, way better than A Bee Movie. Apparently, I need to watch more movies with real humans in them. But CGI is so lifelike!
However, during a scene … oh, wait. Sorry. Spoiler alert! I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings by revealing sacred plot points.
Now, during a scene where some monsters are battling some aliens, there are people running around trying to get away. It made me think of another popcorn movie that I love, which also features people trying to escape from something bad. That's right, I'm talking about a little film called Independence Day. And that one has real humans in it, I think (Jeff Goldblum … so lifelike!). Not to mention, the flick also has in it Promo Marketing's staff pick for best movie president of all time. Some might say, "Clearly you are mistaken. Harrison Ford in Air Force One is vastly superior to Bill Pullman." But I tell you, my friend, you would be wrong. Harrison Ford fought terrorists, which is very awesome. But Bill Pullman, responsible parenting and responsible president-ing be damned, got in a fighter jet to shoot at aliens. And won. Debate over. Gruebel out.
Just kidding. I'm still here and I swear I am getting to my point.
So while I'm watching the current movie on-screen, and thinking about another disaster movie in my mind, I had an epiphany. If aliens (or monsters) attacked Philadelphia tomorrow, I probably wouldn't survive. Why? Because most likely, I'd be wearing stupid shoes that my mother would call "impractical." Ones in which my "ankle" would "break" should I try to flee. Or, to be fair, I would probably also be wearing an outfit that is not conducive to outrunning a fireball or giant robot. What I'm trying to say is that I'd be taking the big "L" in the event of an intergalactic war.
I'm going to bring this nonsense home with this: Are your apparel promotions practical enough to get the job done? Are they also stylish enough to get noticed? The marriage of fashion and function in performance wear is covered in our April issue by Michael Cornnell. It was also covered in my last blog post regarding corporate wear. It will also be discussed in May, when I take a gander at fall runway trends and how they can and should translate to promotional wearables. It seems like we discuss this a lot, but are you listening?
Now, I'm off to go restore my indie cred and queue up a few black comedies and existential dramas before you all start thinking my movie collection is made up of nothing but musicals and CG animation. I mean, really. How bourgeois!
And in case you were wondering, the second movie in my aforementioned marathon was Kung Fu Panda.